I’ve been sat at this keyboard all week like a budget MI6 agent, waiting for encrypted team updates from my top-secret sources. Sadly, I’ve received less intel than a pigeon with a dodgy sat-nav. Word is, picking teams has been like assembling IKEA furniture without the instructions. So come on folks—do it for The Scout, the man, the myth, the spreadsheet - allegedly.
Season Update: It’s getting to crunch time. Some of you might’ve found an extra transfer down the back of the sofa—use it wisely. And if that Triple Captain card is still burning a hole in your fantasy wallet… now’s your moment. Channel your inner Pep Guardiola.
1XI vs Old Brentwoods – “Home Advantage-ish”
It’s a must-win for both sides. Back in the fray this week are Kallum Sampath (5.2m), Rob Page (7.2m) and Jack Scutt (5.5m), making it feel like the Avengers have reunited—except in cricket whites and with less CGI. Skipper Tom Willats (6.5m) is hoping that Lady Luck finally stops ghosting SS17 0ED. In-form Dave De Jong (4.8m) and Harry Robinson (5.9m) will be hauling momentum from the 2s, while June player of the month Jono Edwards (4.2m) is also in.
Scout Verdict: Young guns, old guns, all guns blazing. Hold onto your stumps.
2XI @ Walthamstow – "Six-Pointer or Fifty-Pointer?"
Big match energy here. Captains Michael Gray (5.7m) and Daryl Woodford (7.5m) might be short one bowling arm, but with young Freddie Robinson (5.5m) still firing rockets at one end, it’s not quite Defcon 1. Ash Downes (5.5m) and Rohit Duhan (5.4m) are tasked with wicket hoovering duties.
Just a special word here for Mohit Bhagwani (6.2m) who will be playing his last match for SLHCC before he embarks on new adventures. Thank you, Mo, it’s been a pleasure, we wish you all the best and hope you continue to follow the club from afar. Go out in style mate.
Scout Verdict: Mo-hits the high notes. Encore, please.
3XI vs Horndon – “Island Derby Fever”
Derby day with our neighbours but in Canvey—aka the tropical getaway of Essex. No one needed convincing to play, with Ravi Sandaname (3.7m) steering the ship and Geoff Gullet (4.5m) parachuting in from the 4s. Bobby Kenyon (4.4m) dons the gloves while debutant Kinthu Chandramohan (3.5m) finally escapes the rain gods, fingers crossed
Scout Verdict: Three’s rolling. Big vibes incoming.
4XI vs Hornchurch Athletic – “One Year On…”
One year almost to the day since the Great Mankad Controversy, and the memory’s still fresher than a new ball at midday. Young-ish Dave Willats (3.5m) returns, claiming to lower the average age of the team (in his dreams maybe). League debut for Kevin Sangwine (3.5m), and actual youth injected via Will Robertson (2.5m), Connor Busby (2.5m) and Tharun Shanmuganand (2.7m). Shan Selvaraj (3.9m) is on a half-ton hat-trick hunt—bring snacks.
Scout Verdict: Four on the floor and dreaming of glory.
Final Word from The Scout
Teams are locked in. No last-minute disappearances now unless you’ve been abducted by aliens or hired by The Hundred. Weather? Better. Transfers? By 11am Saturday. If you’re playing, enjoy the leather and willow. If you’re umpiring, may the LBWs be obvious. If spectating—glass full, sunscreen applied, eye on the ball.
And spare a cheer (or beer) for our valiant captains. They’ve aged many years this week trying to sort your availability. Raise a pint to them, raise a bat for yourself, and if all else fails—blame The Scout.
Back after the weekend. Until then…