Trott’s Tour Diary – Barcelona Style!! |
Day 1 For me, Martin, Chopper, Nashy and Adrian, the 125 Tour started at 4.30am Monday morning. We all met round Adrian’s house for a quick cup of coffee and a last check that everything was packed on the minibus before we was on our way to Dover. Martin took the wheel for the short journey down south to the white cliffs and after a Chopper facebook update of Pirates, and a much easier than expected check in, we were on the water to France. After a decent ferry fry up and a quick dump, we had arrived in Calais. Adrian was the next driver with Nashy as his co-pilot. Unfortunately, Nashy’s map reading was as good as Adrian driving in a straight line, and after knocking down a few plastic bollards, taking the wrong exit on the motorway, and causing me, Martin and Chopper to have clenched bum cheeks, we stopped off to fill the tank up with petrol just outside of Rouen. It was my turn to drive next with this being the first time I had driven on the wrong side of the road! Apart from pulling out at the petrol station looking the wrong way, my stint went pretty smoothly. After going through Adrian and Martin’s CD collection, we were lucky to find out that the CD player didn’t work so we used the most valuable piece of kit for the drivers on tour. My dad had given me a radio receptor that fits into the bottom of an Iphone, which then plays your music through the radio so we at least had some decent music!! As me and Martin were in the front, the first official beer on tour was sunk by ……………. no not Chopper, Adrian!! Adrian took the gold medal with Nashy close in 2nd place and Harris was in 3rd!!! (Amazing I know!!!) We stopped off for lunch just outside of Orleans in a place called Attorney and as the weather was stunning, we had a nice little picnic. Some French sticks, selection of cheese’s and meat, a bottle of Red for the men and a bottle of Grapefruit Rose for Martin was consumed on a nice little bench that filled us up nicely. After only having a small glass (for small hands), Martin took over driving for the next leg and he showed his love of curb crawling (gig) by clipping the curb twice in one 3 point turn! We carried on through some lovely French villages along the Loire river with the music going from “I’m on a Boat” to Depeche Mode and “Just Can’t Get Enough” which Harris posed the interesting question, was this song written by a French bloke who couldn’t find an egg?!?! We think it was haha. A quick stop for a coffee, ice cream and the most expensive fags Chopper has ever purchased and then I took over from Martin for the final stint into Riom. Once we arrived at our hotel, and after a quick bit of crypton factor with the bus, we went and had dinner before hitting the sack for some sleep. | 
(Lunch in Attorney)
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(The Millau Bridge) | Day 2 We set of on day 2 about 8am with Adrian and Nashy back in the front and again it definitely woke the three of us in the back up when Adrian stalled it on a busy roundabout in Clermont-Ferrand. After a long half an hour, we stopped off for some breakfast that consisted ofa delicious croissant and a coffee and once we found a petrol station to fillup, Nashy had his first stint as driver. Just before turning the ignition, his comment to us in the back that he hadn’t drove a manual vehicle for 10 years was helped with him stalling it just pulling forward! We all found our seatbelts and we were on our way along the A75 to Millau. Once we arrived at the magnificent bridge, we stopped for a quick comfort break and a few pictures before continuing on our way towards Spain with me driving again. Once we got into Perpignan, we stopped for a bite of lunch which Adrian decided nothing would be wasted and consumed a lot of cheese and bread before Martin took us into Spain and down the coast to Calella. When we were just coming up to the H Top Hotel, we went past an English pub called Gringo Joe’s that had a sign saying ‘Barcelona v AC Milan’ and ‘2€ for a pint of San Miguel’. Not sure how this place would turn out to be our favourite place on tour!! Once we had unloaded the bags and Martin and some Spanish Pedro had had the funniest conversation about where we could park the minibus, we met up with the other lads and headed down to Gringo’s for some dinner, beer and the footy. After a nice meal and on our 4th beer, Adrian announced that he was done with beer and the plan was we would all head back to the hotel once we had finished the rounds off…….. BUT, one of the barmen walked through with a microphone!! When Adrian found out that there was Karaoke and ‘Brown Eyed Girl’, he found this new found lease of life and we all stayed for a sing song and plenty more beers!! We staggered back to the hotel and into Choppers room where we all had a nice chat and played with some balls!!! |
Day 3 Our first morning in Spain started with me and Martin being woken up by the cleaners with which Martin told them in his pleasant Scottish way to jog on! Sensing a battle, the dastardly cleaners grassed us up and we then received a phone call asking if we would be checking out. This time, it was my turn to tell them Ack Nooooooo. All of this was not helping the banging headache I had from the beer consumption from the night before, especially as I hadn’t packed any Paracetamol!! Next at our door was Chopper. He seemed a lot sprightlier than the rest of us as if he was used to drinking??? He asked if we had seen Nashy’s phone (in case it had walked through the wall and into our room) and then more importantly, if we both wanted a hair of the dog. After being a little bit sick in my mouth, we both told him Ack Nooooo and off he went to the bar! I managed to get up and kind of get dressed and went in search of some headache pills and a non-alcoholic drink. I managed to get some tablets and a nice coke from McDonalds and headed back to the hotel room. Once I got back and into bed again, we had another knock at the door and it was Adrian this time. He needed Martin to show him where the Minibus was parked and to help him discuss a cost for parking the bus there. He also needed to head to the airport as the others would be arriving. Martin then decided that to walk 100 yards down the road to a dirty Spanish car park to speak with his mate Pedro again, he would have a nice shower, clean his teeth, gel his hair, moisturise his feet, pluck his eyebrows taking 30 minutes making Adrian wait downstairs!! Once Martin had finished his MANicure, he went off with Adrian to sort out the minibus. When Martin returned, we all wandered back down to Gringo’s where the cricket was on so we watched that and got straight back onto the beers!! After a while, we noticed the minibus with the rest of the tour goers heading towards the hotel so we finished our beer and walked up to meet them. We all got checked in and received our All Inclusive cards which somehow, Chay managed to get into most of the people’s pictures!! My room was great! Not only was I 1) sharing with Masher and 2) we both had double beds each but……….. we opened up these double doors in our room to reveal Adam, Jono and Phil!!! Everyone met for a quick tour meeting where the first Tart of the Day was announced (Well Done Hicksy who donned the Tart outfit) then we all headed up for dinner. After stuffing our faces, everyone found out about Gringo’s and the White Horse with Karaoke so we all ended up down there for beer, pool, beer, beer, singing and beer! Everyone was pretty wasted but special mention to Smash the pool balls Hicksy who asked Katie to check his pants as he thought he had soiled them before we even left for the pub, Shot Man Jono who decided to buy him and everyone else countless shots but then puke it all up on the balcony back at the hotel and Mr Powley who kept up with tradition by being the last person to leave the bar, wander off for food, start a fight, then get lost trying to get back to the hotel so slept on a bench. All in all, a great first night!! | 
(Chopper having an early morning Beer)
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(In Gringo's watching Eng v Sri Lanka) | Day 4 I woke up on day 4 to the sight of Jono’s sick on the balcony, a chorus of farts from serial farter Phil Anderson, and yet another San Miguel influenced hangover!! Phil had amazingly lost his voice over night but made up for it with the noise he was making from his behind! We were all pretty hanging but we managed to drag ourselves downstairs for breakfast and then back onto Gringo’s for the cricket where we were joined by Lee, Katie, Chay, Clair and a few others. We missed a tour meeting which to be fair, wasn’t corresponded to us very well (especially as John and Angie told us all not to worry haha) so we decided to go back to the hotel for a nap once the cricket had finished whilst some of the others went for a walk into Calella. We then all went down to the hotel bar for a few more drinks and another tour meeting with fines. The Fine committee consisted of Me, Martin, Lee, Georgie and Adrian. Once everyone had passed over the monies and Powley was confirmed as the new Tart of the Day (for last night’s mini adventure), we all went for some dinner. Most of the tour reconvened down in the hotel bar where everyone chatted away, played a few university games courtesy of Martin and obviously continued drinking! Chopper met himself some nice northern lasses (I think!!!) outside but I think the term Beer and Goggles were definitely in action (for both sides haha) |
Day 5 There were a lot less hung-over people within our room on Day 5 thanks to the quieter night on Day 4! Everyone got showered and had breakfast and then we again went down for a morning of cricket. Jono and Adam went off with Laura and some others for lunch and some sun but me, Phil, Mash and Lee decided to stay the whole hog and get pissed!!! We then met up with all the others for a round of mini golf and bowling which was interesting considering I could see more than one ball (gig). Then at bowling, Jono nearly killed Mash when he let go of a ball mid throw and Lee (trying to screw Chay over on his go) threw a ball through his legs hoping it would be a ‘GUTTER BALL’ but instead he got a strike!! Can’t remember who won both games but it was a good laugh!! We then went back for a quick shower and a change of clothes before heading down to the fines meeting. Lee took charge of the fines and after his erm disagreement with Katie, she suffered in the pocket!! Tart of the Day was Martin. The reason for this was, Chay took a photo of him near the swimming pool but had to delete it and re-take the photo as Martin thought he looked fat!!! Some of us had dinner at the hotel but a large amount of the older tour goers went for a sit down meal for Sue and Noj’s birthday. And yet again, everyone found themselves down the White horse for more beer, karaoke and pool. Phil and Mash had an epic chat up the bar with copious amounts of Guinness and special mention to Debbie and Gill who were well and truly smashed! | 
(Nuts, Martin, Lovejoy, Adam and Jono at Mini Golf) |
(Back Row L-R John Harris, Mark Nuttall, Lee Knight, Chay Hedges, Andy Love, Martin Leslie
Front Row L-R Jono Simes, Kevin Smith, Phil Anderson, Jon Fuller, Peter Victory (Umpire))
| Day 6 Finally it was time for a spot of cricket!! I was woken up by my alarm at 7am with a pounding head to notice something strange had happened in the night?!?! I looked to my left expecting to see Mash but he wasn’t there, just a pair of boxers!! I opened the double doors and could see Adam, Jono, Phil……. and Mash all snuggled up in bed!! So with Mash unable to communicate, I decided to pull the sheets of everyone to get them up. To Phil’s horror, Mash, who was spooning him at the time, was half naked…….. T-Shirt only (and the nickname MouseDingo was born!!!) Mash was struggling big time so he crawled back into bed and said he was too ill for cricket. We left him in the capable hands of Adam and me, Jono and Phil staggered downstairs for the meet. We then travelled to our first game and from the outside, it looked like a nice stadium but inside, it was a dustbowl football pitch! We watched as the opposition rolled out the pitch and captain for the day Lee decided we would bowl first. Martin threatened us all about sliding in the new kit on the outfield which Chopper straight away ignored!!! The first few overs went pretty well until the opposition worked out that we were all still pissed from the night before. They then decided to dispatch us EVERYWHERE. Even the bloke outside of the stadium complained as he was getting fed up with chucking the ball back. Highlights of the bowling innings were… Nuts nearly snuffling up a filthy hat-trick (if only his hat-trick ball was on the strip)!! Chay showed us all that waiting 2 more over’s until lunch was just too long for him as he sniffed out the sarneys and had a face full when a catch came his way. The sandwich took priority so the catch went down, Jono’s one over getting more air time than any of Gary’s music and Chopper catching a ball that he seemed like he was running away from. So, chasing 259 to win (in 25 over’s!!) we knew the 10.4 run rate required may be quite tough! Highlights of the batting innings were 5 ducks (Mash……. Oh no sorry he didn’t play. Force of habit haha Nuts, Noj, Phil, Jono and Golden Lovejoy), the fact that we lasted 18.5 over’s for 86 and that Lee was told that Tour scores would count in year-end averages so got 31….. not out!! We were well and truly demolished but as it was a nice early finish, we headed back to the hotel for a dip in the pool. Unfortunately, the swimming pool was like an ice bath so our long swim lasted no longer than 30 seconds! The only person who had balls of steel was Lovejoy who managed a few lengths that was closely watched by CV from her room (Keep an eye on that Pete!!!!) We then had our usual fines meeting with Colin the grass, squealing on anyone and everyone and the new Tart of the Day being Chay for eating instead of fielding at cricket. We all grabbed a bite to eat before Martin took a few of us out on a Saturday night pub crawl. We had a quick drink in the White Horse, met an Arsenal fan Terry Tibs impersonator at Beach Boys pub and then went into a cocktail bar called Bora Bora. We all got our 2 for 1 cocktail’s in a bar that seemed like you had to be under the age of 18 to drink and had a few games of foosball with a fat Harry Potter impersonator being Martin’s biggest fan!! Ironically, without telling him anything about our plans, Powley strolled in on his own into this bar with lots of pissed little kids and joined us for a cocktail. We then left Powley in his element and went back to The White horse where me and Adam smashed Martin and Lovejoy at pool before heading back to the hotel. |
Day 7
As
the night before wasn’t as heavy as usual, our 10 o clock meet for our group
trip to Barcelona was quite pain-free. We all had a leisurely walk down to the
Calella train station before jumping on the train to Barcelona. The train was
pretty packed but we were treated to a busker named El Gary who played some
songs on his guitar and some fantastic views of the Med as the train travelled
along the Spanish coastline.
After
Phil had wisely asked Terry Tibs the night before what the best way to get to
the bus routes was, we got off the train and found ourselves queuing up for the
red route tour. As there were a few of us wanting to do the Nou Camp
experience, we worked out that we had to be on the blue route bus so me, Phil,
Katie, Lee, Martin and Lovejoy left the others in the red queue and joined the
blue queue.
Once
we had finally got on the bus (as it was a glorious day, everyone wanted to sit
on the top deck!!) we enjoyed a nice relaxing sightseeing tour through the
heart of Barcelona. Before I left England I had no idea who Antoni Gaudí was…..
I do now!! There were some unbelievable sights to see especially the Sagrada
Família. We finally arrived at the Nou Camp but were left frustrated as we had
missed the last tour of the day by 45 minutes. We decided to have a look in the
club shop with me hoping to get myself a nice Mascherano Barcelona top but at
€99 euro’s, they can well and truly do one!! We got back on the bus and headed
back to the centre point and tucked in to a nice KFC before taking a stroll
down La Rambla (a famous street for tourists with lots of stalls and street
performers).
We
walked all the way (1.2km!!) down to the port before Lee and Katie headed off
on their own and me, Phil, Martin and Lovejoy went in search for an Irish bar
for the Arsenal v Man City game. We watched Arsenal thrash Man City 1-0 whilst
having a few mandatory beers before heading back to the train station. As the
train journey was an hour back to Calella, we got some train beers (€30 for 12
coke can size San Miguel’s…… yes well and truly screwed us over there!!!) and
sank them whilst having a friendly discussion about football!! We got off at
Calella with Martin busting for a pee. He found a porta-loo that despite mine
and Phil’s best efforts, stayed upright long enough for Martin to do his
business! We then staggered to a Pizza place for a quick bite to eat and then
went back to Arsenal fan Terry to celebrate the win! Me and Phil had a small
disagreement about who were better, Barcelona or Real Madrid which caused Phil
to storm off (I know drunken lads being melons!!).
Me and Martin finished our drinks and found ourselves
in the White Horse (of all places!!) where we bumped into Nuts, the Hicksy’s,
Powley, Debbie and Keith who were having a drink and sing song before Nuts
pointed out a lonely figure up the bar. I decided that I would go give Phil a
nice man hug and we forgot about our argument, had a few shots then sang “The
Wonder of You” with Martin!! More shots and beers followed before we stumbled
out and somehow got back to the hotel. | 
(Martin, me and Phil singing "The Wonder of You")
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(Back Row L-R Mark Nuttall, Chay Hedges, Andy Powley, Martin Leslie, Andy Love, Jon Fuller
Front Row L-R John Hicks, Matthew Page, Adam Knight, Kevin Smith, Lee Knight, Phil Anderson) |
Day 8
Yet
again, a day we had cricket and I was hanging out of my bum hole. Luckily, I
noticed Phil was in a similar state so this helped…… a bit!! I woke up to face
a slightly peeved Mash, Adam and Jono!! Supposedly…… me and Phil came storming
into the room singing ‘There’s only 1 Arsene Wenger’ and ‘Arsenal, Arsenal,
Arsenal’ at the top of our voices (the hotel walls were on the thin side!!!),
we then decided to tell them about our WHOLE day, I was so happy that we had
got new towels that I started singing and dancing and then, mid way through the
night, Phil got up (waking Adam and Jono up) and decided to roll himself in the
balcony curtains saying ‘Help Me… Help Me’!!! Very random but it gave me and
Phil something to laugh at. I managed to get myself into the shower and get
ready for our meet downstairs whereas Phil wrote a letter of apology to captain
for the day Martin explaining that he was not going to make the match (or
something along those lines!!) I then managed to lose my ‘I Love MILF’s’
T-Shirt that Hicksy had got me the day before within 2 minutes (I was proper
gutted) as we went for a quick meeting before heading off to the Barcelona
baseball stadium. Phil mustered up the energy to get himself downstairs in time
for the departure but sat himself in the back, on his own and probably
regretted it big time.
We
arrived at the stadium with the joyous sight of grass but the thought of moving
around let alone running and bowling was making my stomach do all sorts. In the
match, we bowled first and after being put everywhere in the game before, the
bowling was much better! Highlights included Lovejoy going for just 5 runs in 4
over’s, the wicket taking return of John Hicks, 5 bowlers getting a maiden, 2
great catches from Adam and myself (somehow!) and Nuts getting another wicket.
If it wasn’t for a few lusty blows by the left handed keeper, the score would
have been even better but 160-9 of 30 over’s was a good effort.
With limited time available we went straight into our
batting innings with highlights being a second ball duck for Chay (haha), Nuts
getting worried about the Barcelona International quick bowler, Lee getting a
not out again (and 80 odd runs!!), me having to run countless singles and twos
with Lee when I was still close to chucking up everywhere and Phil coming in
with the team needing 6 to draw of the last ball, and late cutting for 2. We ended
up losing by 4 runs but it was a great game and the Barca Int team were a
really nice bunch of lads! After we had changed out of our snazzy new T20 kit,
we followed the opposition to a nice bar in Barcelona and after a tight squeeze
into the underground car park, we had our final fines meeting. More dubious
fines were being thrown about although some people like Ben, Kay and Anne
escaped quite lightly as they were well behaved!!! Adam was judged to be the
final Tart if the Day after we explained that he had brought straightners on
tour!!! We then enjoyed some excellent food and a few drinks before heading
back to the hotel for a few drinks in the hotel bar. |
Day 9
Our
last full day on tour started with a quick tour meeting, a group photo and some
nice words were said by Adrian for Tom followed by a minute’s silence. A few of
us then went down to Gringo’s for some breakfast whilst others went off with
Adrian to the mountain range of Montseny.
After
breakfast, Chay had mentioned about this large sweet shop that did all of the
old school sweets and was pretty cheap too so we went in hunt of this wonderful
place. On the way, we popped into some souvenir shops, I got myself a cheaper
Barcelona top and we found a really nice shop selling awesome Ice Cream. We
were struggling to find the elusive Sweet shop and we were about to cry and
turn back before Martin spotted it. It was amazing and Phil couldn’t contain
his delight by getting a bag of sweets worth €6!! It was huge!!! We then headed
back to our room to chill and pack a few bits before getting ready for
Barcelona v Getafe at the Nou Camp.
The
14 of us bundled into the minibus and we were on our way. Martin had checked
out online how easy it was to park near the stadium and it seemed pretty easy
with lots of P signs all over Barcelona. However, the P signs were for
underground parking and having a minibus that was over 2 meters high,
underground parking proved to be a bit of problem. We were allowed into a car
park that said 2.2 meters but when we started going down the ramp (after paying
€15), we soon discovered that Martin’s school minibus was not going to fit.
Martin then had to try and reverse a bus load of people out of a very tight fit
with the clutch and our lungs taking a battering. To be fair to Jock, he did
really well to get us out of there so Martin…. Well Done pal!!! We then carried
on looking for a car parking space before we thought we had struck gold parking
within meters of the stadium. We all got out smelling some sweet fresh air but
it was soon back to square one when a policeman informed us that we couldn’t
park there. I told Martin that I would run on in front and ask someone and said
for them to wait for me, but before I had got 20 yards down the road, I see the
bloody minibus drive past. I tried running after the crew but eventually lost
them at some traffic lights that went green. I decided to turn around and head
for the ticket office so as the others would know where to find me. I was just
about to cross the road when I noticed a small chap in a nice Audi drive past.
I think his name was Lionel!!! Once we all eventually met back up again, we had
a slight worry with the tickets but David and Chay sorted that out and we were
finally into the Nou Camp.
We
found our seats and snapped a few photos’ as we took in the amazing sights. The
match was fantastic (although I missed that bloke Lionel’s goal!!) and
Barcelona won 4-0. At times, it got pretty windy and it did start to rain for a
bit but it didn’t dampen our mood and we had a nice relaxing journey home. When
we got back to the hotel, me, Phil and Jono crashed out but a lot of the others
who didn’t go to the match all went out for one last night at Gringo’s with
Adam coming in late making loads of noise!! The little creep!!! | 
(Camp Nou)
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Day 10
It
was the last day of tour and we all had to check out of our rooms by 10am. We
then all had our final tour meeting with a special mention to Adrian who put a
lot of time and effort into arranging the tour so we all gave him a big round
of applause. Tart of the Tour was Debbie so she gladly took the Tart bag and
Tiara with a big smile on her face!! My flight was earlier than everyone else’s
so Hicksy kindly agreed to drop me off at the airport so I could catch my
flight home. The others flew later on that day and the Drivers got back safely
late Thursday night.
All
in all, it was a fantastic tour which everyone seemed to enjoy immensely.
Apologies if I missed anything out but the alcohol has had an effect on my
memory and I can only really write about the stuff I was there for and
remember!!
A
photo gallery of select photos should be on the website soon but a majority
will already have seen most of the photo’s on facebook.
Kevin 'Trott' Smith
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